Deciding on the main topic of the essay
During the holidays, I read several books on family and psychology, primarily because I’ve come to realize that many of my personality flaws stem largely from my family background. Rather than simply venting these negative emotions, I want to find solutions and raise awareness for others. Given my passion for creating ambient music, I plan to explore the connections between sound, personality formation, and ambient music in my essay.
I am referencing the following books for these perspectives:
First is The Family Crucible. This book uses family therapy case studies to explain the origins of dysfunctional family environments. It has been incredibly enlightening for me, as the toxic dynamics it describes are quite prevalent in East Asian families. Too many children grow up in such environments without realizing it, resulting in personality flaws or unconscious barriers that hinder a healthy life. In my observation, realizing that one is in pain or becoming self-aware isn’t the hardest part; the true challenge lies in overcoming and challenging oneself after acknowledging these imperfections.
Second is Jung’s Man and His Symbols. I can’t claim to understand 100% of what Jung is conveying, but the book inspired me regarding the blurred states. It reminds me of the traditional Chinese parable, Zhuangzi Dreaming of a Butterfly, where Zhuangzi dreams he is a butterfly and can no longer tell if he is a man dreaming of being a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming of being a man. This hazy, ambiguous feeling doubles my experience reading this book. I cannot describe it in rational or concrete terms; instead, I’ve absorbed the information in fragments. It reminds me of the Six of Swords in Tarot that a sense of accepting the journey of consciousness and going with the flow. While the Moon card also represents a neutral ambiguity rooted in an innate fear of the night and the unknown, the Six of Swords feels more like an acceptance of life’s progression.
Third is Deep Listening by Pauline Oliveros. She explains the essence and practice of “Deep Listening.” Through this book, I’ve gained a complete understanding of the distinction between Deep Listening and Meditative Listening. Though similar, they are distinct modes of listening, and I found this distinction deeply inspiring.
Fourth is Games People Play, which completely reshaped my perspective on the world and human relationships. It illustrates how, when we converse, socialize, or fall in love, we often fall into emotional traps, either set by others or by ourselves.
These are the book list that I am mainly referring to.
Susan Philipsz lowlands
In this simple sound installation, Philipsz utilized the sheer essence of sound itself, positioning loudspeakers beneath three bridges in Glasgow. She performed three distinct a vocal of the Scottish folk song Lowlands Away. The song tells the romantic but sad story of a woman dreaming of her lover, who died at sea, returning to bid her a final farewell. I find this work profoundly inspiring, as local folk music serves as one of the most authentic manifestations of one’s upbringing and cultural identity.
Ryoji Ikeda Presents: test pattern
In contrast to Philipsz’s more emotive and personal mode of expression, Ryoji Ikeda utilizes rationality, absoluteness, and digital precision in this work to articulate the way sound shapes and impacts us. Ikeda purifies data into its most essential forms of sound and imagery. Although his work appears rigorously rational, his use of extreme high and low frequencies evokes a sensory experience that pushes toward the absolute limits of perception a sensation characterized by a profound, clinical indifference.
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